


Just To Hold You In My Arms

by i_amthecosmos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Illness, M/M, Sickfic, harry is the big spoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is sick. Harry wants to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just To Hold You In My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> I asked my Twitter feed for fic prompts, and one of them was 'dust'. So this is for you, Amy. I'll get to the others next!

The first thing Harry noticed was the dust.

Louis wasn’t much of a cleaner, none of them really were, but usually someone was there who could tidy up. Harry hadn’t seen Lou for a while, and he wasn’t sure anyone else had been there since him. “Hey,” he said, closing the door behind him. 

“In here.” That was definitely Lou’s voice, but it sounded weak. Harry put down his packages on a chair and went to the bedroom. Louis was in bed, blinking bleary eyes at him. “Hey. Good to see you.” His voice was colorless, and Harry’s heart sank.

“Lou. How are you holding up?” Harry came to the side of the bed, and took Louis’ hand. It was clammy, and there were a lot of varied pill bottles by the bedside. “Why hasn’t anyone been by to see you?” 

Louis shrugged. “I don’t know. They have their own lives now, going to school and such. Liam came by some, made sure I was taking my medications on time. It’s hard to, everything just blurs.” Harry cupped Louis’ face, and he smiled softly. “I don’t even feel like myself. I’m like a ghost.” 

“You’re still you, I promise.” Harry wanted to panic. He needed to call Louis’ doctor and made sure that he was getting the right things. “Do you want me to draw a bath? You could probably use it.” He had to do something, Louis needed him. He knew that much. 

“If you want,” is all Lou said, but Harry went straight to the main bathroom to draw the water. When he came back to the bedroom, Louis was sitting up in bed, struggling to get his t-shirt off. Harry could see his ribs. 

“Lou, God,” he said, and Louis blinked unhappily. Fuck calling the doctor, he was going to see if he could get a home nurse by. Or stay himself, fuck his promo schedule. “I’ve got you,” he said, and he helped Louis to the bathroom. He didn’t seem to weigh a thing, and Harry cursed the illness that was wracking his lover like this. 

“I keep thinking it’ll stop, you know,” Louis said as Harry undressed him, Louis sitting in a chair next to the tub. “That I’ll finally be better. But it just keeps going. It doesn’t have to get worse, even. It just is.” 

“Shhh, it’s alright. You’ll have a nice bath and then fix you something for lunch. Or we can order in. When was the last time you had a pizza?” Harry gathered Louis up and helped him into the bath. He added some bubble bath to it, and Louis cracked a grin. 

“Pizza would be lovely, if I can keep it down.” Harry ran a hand through Louis’ tacky hair, and kissed his cheek. He got the washcloth and started cleaning Lou up. 

“Maybe you can eat just a little.” Inside Harry felt anger-why had Louis been left to get this bad? Didn’t anyone care anymore? So their group days were over, it wasn’t as if Louis had stopped existing. “Baby, I just…why hasn’t anyone been by?” 

Louis looked up at him. “I didn’t call anyone,” he said. “I didn’t want to be a bother. Mum checks up when she can, and Liam. But…I just wanted you to come home. Do you really think I’d let anyone else run me a bubble bath?” 

“Maybe so, but I’m going to make sure you have someone with you when I’m gone.” Harry got the shampoo and started working it through Louis’ hair. “I don’t want to come back in two weeks and find you worse.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Louis muttered and Harry didn't dignify that with a response. Instead he washed Lou’s hair, rinsing it out with the detachable shower head, Louis keeping his eyes closed. Louis was quiet, too quiet, too docile. He’d been sick for too long. “Let’s watch movies tonight,” Louis said, when Harry was done.

“Anything you want, Lou,” Harry said. He’d been missing Lou’s body, craving his touch, but Louis wasn’t in any shape for anything too physical. Staying up to watch movies with Harry might be the most he could do. 

“Okay,” Louis said then, and he sounded more like himself, happier, and Harry felt guilty. “Help me get out of here and let’s go sit on the couch. And you can order a pizza for us.” 

“Okay,” Harry said, and he let the water out of the tub and dried Louis off with a big towel. Louis leaned into him, and Harry ruffled his damp hair. “Do you need to take any of your medications?” 

“I think so.” Louis kissed Harry’s neck. “I’m pretty sure I need to take the big blue one, and probably the little round white one as well.”

“Don’t you ever remember the names of what you take?” Harry said and Louis laughed dryly.

“No reason why I should, the doctor changes them all the time. I can’t even keep up. And I’m so tired, all the bloody time. It’s so boring, Harry.” Louis lets out a sigh and Harry just held him. He couldn’t understand how Louis could bear it, being stuck in bed. He was the last person this should have happened too. 

“Let’s get you dressed,” is what he said, and Louis made an affirming noise. They walk back to the bedroom and Harry helped Louis get into a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, and thick socks. Louis pulled a blanket off his bed and headed for the living room while Harry called for the pizza. 

Later, they snuggled under the blanket and watched movies. Louis had a slice and a half of pizza, and then they made out slowly, Harry thumbing over Louis’ collarbone. “You know, it’s so fucking ironic,” Louis said. “When we were in the band I had everything I wanted but I was angry, because we were in the closet. And then the band ended and we came out. It should’ve been perfect. But I had to get bitten by that tick.” 

“Don’t think about it, Lou,” Harry said, but Louis just shook his head. 

“I’m never going to Minnesota again, fuck that place. I just want to get better.” Harry kissed his forehead and Louis sighed. “I miss the person I used to be.”

“You’re still Louis,” Harry said.

“Oh I am, but it’s been covered over. I have to spend most of my energy just keeping alive. I don’t even have any left to be a fucker.” Louis smirked then, and Harry kissed the corner of his mouth. Louis put his head on Harry’s shoulder, and they were quiet for a bit. Harry looked at the floor, and the dust bunnies next to the couch. 

He didn’t know he’d gotten up until Louis said “Love, what are you doing?” Harry didn’t stop though, he just went for the broom and started sweeping up, Louis watching him from the couch. “Harry. Why are you doing this now? Stop.” 

“I just…it’s dusty.’ He knows he’s not explaining himself, and he doesn’t stop sweeping while he tries. “I come home and it’s dusty, nobody’s taking care of the place-“

“Harry…”

“And you’re in bed, and it looks like you’ve barely eaten and I don’t know what to do!” Harry heard his voice raise up on the last, and Louis just stared at him, shocked. “I don’t know what to do, Lou. I can’t be here for you, and it’s just…”

“Come here. Drop that fucking broom and come here now.” Harry looked over at him, and Louis had his hands out, reaching toward him. “Harry, _now_.” Harry leaned the broom against the wall and sat next to Louis again. Louis immediately covered them both with the blanket. 

“You don’t have to take care of me. I know you want to, because you love me, but you have other things to do too.” Louis ran a finger over Harry’s jaw. “And if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll make sure other people come ‘round to check on me. But don’t blame yourself ‘cos I’m a stubborn bastard.” 

“You better, ‘cause if you don’t I’m hiring someone to do it.” Louis looked faintly surprised, and Harry wiped at his eyes. “I don’t want to come back and find you this thin, Lou. I need you to be okay.” 

“I don’t know how much someone watching over me can make me keep food down, but all right.” Louis kissed Harry softly, and then put his head on Harry’s shoulder. “I’m tired, Hazza.” 

“Need to go back to bed?” Harry said, and Louis nodded.

“Maybe another bedroom though. We might have to wash those sheets, they’re disgusting.” Harry kissed Louis’ hair and made an agreeing noise. 

Harry got one of the other bedrooms ready, leaving Louis on the couch. When he was done he stripped the first bed and got the sheets in the wash. “You’re sleeping with me, right?” Louis said. “I need you with me, I hate sleeping without you.” 

“I am. I might get out of bed a couple of times though. Still jetlagged.” Louis grinned at him, and Harry helped him off the couch and got them into bed. “I love you Louis. You’re still my favorite person.” 

Louis made a happy, satisfied noise. “Same. Thanks for sticking with me.” That made Harry’s heart ache, at Louis thinking that Harry would abandon him because he wasn’t well. “If it was you, I’d stay with you.” 

“I know you would,” Harry said, kissing Lou’s neck. “Sleep, baby.” Louis muttered something and after a few minutes, his breath evened out. 

Harry held Louis for a while, mind whirring from the jet lag and from how Louis looked. After a while, he got up to put the sheets in the dryer. They were nice sheets, and he remembered that Jay had gotten them for him and Louis as a gift when they moved into this house. That was a long time ago. He had to wipe his eyes again.

“Hazza?” Harry turned around, and Louis was in the kitchen doorway, leaning against it. “Hey,” he said. “Jetlag still bothering you?” Harry nodded, hoping Louis couldn’t see the tears from there. “Okay. Just come back to bed when you can.” Louis winked at him, and Harry smiled. Louis turned around and walked back, holding onto the wall for balance, and Harry watched him. 

“Love you,” he said, thinking Louis couldn’t hear him. Then he heard a laugh and “and I love YOU, you weird bastard,” and he smiled. 

Things weren’t okay, but they were good. They were always good.


End file.
